It seems we Modern Goddesses are in the Middle. The Middle of personal growth. The Middle of spiritual evolution. The middle of our unique transitions. The Middle of nasty politics. The Middle of taking care of aging parents, or children, or both. The Middle of life.
There are some awesome things about the middle – say being in the middle of a three-person ski lift when the wind is blowing, or being consciously in the middle of an enjoyable experience, soaking in the pleasure of the moment, or being in the middle of an excellent book, excited there is still half to read!
Maybe like me, you are middle-aged and in the middle of peri-menopause or menopause. And maybe like so many of my clients and me, you’re contemplating what the next wave of your life; career and relationships might look like in middle age.
The Middle’s Invisibility
And if you are like so many women I know, you may also be feeling the sting of feeling invisible in your middle-ness. It’s like suddenly someone threw Harry Potter’s Invisibility Cloak over us. We can see each other under the cloak, and we can see the people outside of the cloak. The disconcerting thing is the people outside the cloak don’t seem to see us.
The Invisibility Mask
I don’t mind (mostly) that I don’t garner the attention I used to when I walk into a room. I don’t mind (mostly) that it takes more than a few weeks of hitting the gym, eating healthy and doing downward dog to move the needle on the scale downward. I don’t mind (mostly) that I feel like I am being re-introduced to my body in her new, middle-aged menopausal years.
Here’s what I do mind: that the invisibility a middle aged woman experiences may actually stem from other’s inability to be with a truthful, confident, working-through-her-pain, unwilling-to-take-shit woman. It is easier to marginalize her than be with her. And this insane phenomenon has created a middle-aged woman Invisibility Mask. UGH.
The Power of the Middle
Which leads me to highlight one of the great things about being in the middle. As a middle-aged woman (yes, I plan to live to be a healthy, vibrant 100+!) …
I really don’t care what others think about me.
I do care, and deeply, that the people I love experience my love. I do care that my family and friends know I am in their corner 100%. I do care that my middle-aged clients and friends experience their red-hot amazingness. I care deeply that I honor my core values of Spirit, love, connection, gratitude, contribution, and graciousness.
I suspect you may be like me and also care deeply and passionately about living true to your values.
Un-Mask and Get Visible
One of the best ways I know to get out from under that darn invisibility cloak is to live true by stripping off the Masks. You know the ones. The ones that keep the REAL you tangled up in the cloak … Masks like Chief Operating Officer of Control, Suck-it-Up-Buttercup, Over-Giver, and yes, the Invisibility Mask itself.
Over the next few months, I’ll be sharing some of the tools I use with clients and what you can do to shrug off that darn Invisibility Cloak by Un-Masking! I also want to hear from you about what you do to get visible when you find yourself under that darn cloak or hiding your authenticity for whatever reason seems reasonable in that moment.
If you aren’t yet following my campaign of LOVE, vulnerability and being a part of the conversation, please consider this your invitation to join the LOVE party (Self-Love that is) either on FB or LinkedIn. I want YOUR voice to be heard.
Here’s to the great Un-Masking!